Why Does God Allow Me to Feel This Pain?

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)

Why does God let us hurt? Why does God allow us to feel unbearable pain in our lives? Whether our pain is emotional, physical, mental, or even spiritual, we all suffer from it. And it hurts. So where’s God when we’re drowning in our pain – whether a death of someone close to us, being physically or emotionally abused, getting our hearts broken, or being so deep in mental or emotional pain? When we’re feeling the unbearable pain of something that either happened to us in our past or of something that had just happened to us, we all ask the question, “Where is God?!”

God is always with us and He never leaves us. He doesn’t leave us alone in our pain and suffering. He doesn’t let us cry our tears alone. He is right there. Why is He silent, then? Why doesn’t God take the pain away? We’ll answer that last question in four parts.

1. When we’re at the lowest points in our life, we tend to rely on God more. He wants your attention. He wants you to rely on Him – and when our life’s going great, we sometimes feel we don’t need God. If our lives were perfect, we wouldn’t feel a need for God. But in truth, we live less-than-perfect lives, and suffering and pain are all a part of living in this sinful world.

2. Sometimes our pain comes as a consequence for a sin we’ve done. If you put your hand on a hot stove, it hurts. You feel a burning sensation and sting so you quickly pull your hand away. It’s the same with sin – when we constantly do wrong things, God (being the fair and loving God that He is) lets us pay a consequence for our sin so that we can learn and grow from it.

Let me make myself clear.

God is not going to cause a close family member or friend to die – He is not going to cause you to feel unbearable pain and suffering in your life – because you didn’t read your devotions today.

Let me give you an example. If you drink and drive with your friend and get in a serious car accident, you may lose your friend to your own sin and wrong-doing. Unfortunately, a lot of teens (a lot of adults) don’t understand this and when they feel pain in their lives because of something they did wrong, they don’t realize it was because of their own bad choice. They immediately question God and their faith in Him. They cry out to God, “Where are you? Why did you let this happen?” But don’t let that discourage you if you have done something that resulted in pain for you or some one else. God forgives and forgets, and though you have scars from your wrong choices, your sin is no more. Just ask for forgiveness for your wrong choices and learn from them - and try as best as you can to move on. That’s all God asks of you.

3. Other times our pain comes from what other people have done in our lives. If you were physically abused by your parents as a child, they brought the pain. You did nothing to deserve that kind of treatment and therefore you are not paying a consequence for sinning. If other people are constantly telling you that you’re not good enough or are constantly putting you down for something in your life and you’re feeling a deep emotional pain, it’s not because of anything you’ve done. The people who are wrongly criticizing you are the ones bringing the pain into your life. When pain comes, don’t always blame yourself. Analyze the situation and humbly come before God, asking Him to show you where the root of your pain is coming from. Ask Him to heal you from your pain and help you to let go of it.

4. God works through our pain. I know that’s hard to believe, but it’s true. In John 11, when Lazarus fell sick, Mary and Martha called for Jesus to come heal him. They knew of Jesus’ amazing miracles and knew that He could heal Lazarus – but Jesus did not go and heal him of his sickness. After Lazarus had died, Jesus went to Mary and Martha. In fact, He had arrived in Bethany when Lazarus had already been in his grave for four days. Jesus displayed His mighty power there that day by raising Lazarus from the dead. Although Mary and Martha were in deep pain and suffering after their brother had died (it says in verse 35 that even Jesus wept when He saw the grave where Lazarus lay), His awesome power was later displayed and He received great glory. Many people who saw Lazarus walk out of his tomb that day believed in Jesus.

God also works through our pain and suffering if we will let Him. Call out to Jesus today and ask Him to heal you of your pain. Tell Him that you’re ready to let go of your past pain and current pain (whether caused by yourself or others) – and let Him know that you are available for Him to work in all areas of your life. Ask Him for forgiveness for the sins that caused your own pain; and ask Him to help you to forgive those who have caused your pain.

Pain causes a roadblock in our lives where God could work. If we don’t allow Him to remove our pain and heal us, we’re hurting ourselves even more by not allowing God to work. One of the most important things to remember when you’re feeling swallowed by pain is that it’s not “God’s fault.” True, God does not allow anything to happen to you (to Christians) unless it is first filtered through Him, but He knows what He’s doing when He allows you to go through your pain. You shouldn’t get bitter and angry against God because of your pain. If anything, you should go to God and ask Him to heal you. You should allow yourself to be drawn closer to God.

So I suggest you go to God right now with your past pain, with your current pain, and with your future pain (we’re all going to experience more pain while we’re living in this sinful world). Lay down your pain at His cross.

Remember Matthew 11:28 – “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Give Him your burdens. He will give you rest.